This is a drawing I was working on for school. The person in the photo is Ville Valo from the band H.I.M.
Any suggestions to help me improve it?
I am having a real trouble with the eyes...
The trouble that you are having with the eyes is that you drew the outline way to harsh and in it's most simplistic form. Think of the eye as a sphere in the eye socket, and the eyelids draping over them. Concentrate less on the outlines and more on rendering the form of the shape with subtle shading.
Right now the cigarette and eye outlines look incredibly out of place.