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I got distracted from doing art for a few years, but this year I decided to really try to get better and make a solid go at becoming professional. At this point in my life it's either do or die, and I would love some help. Here's a piece I've been working on when I'm not busy with commissions, I think I've put maybe 20 hours into it. I'm not nearly finished with it and at this stage I would love some constructive feedback, really any thoughts would be great. Thanks!
Hello IanLlanas, good to have someone to get back on that horse.
Alright I am giving it my best shot. two cents worth of disregard or sound advice. You choose. I have been wrong be fore or so I am told.
My first thought is that the guy himself looks too dry to be tentackly thing outta glowing pool. He should be driping and have splashes of water on hum and running off him.
The collums behind him atm look ver close to the wall to its hard to tell if the tentackle really would fit behind it.
Another thought is that the whole thing looks very flat in terms of composition.
the guy comes straigth outta the water, rises his arms left and right, perfectly framed from strict vertical collums. I think more movement could help sell the drama
I know that chaning stuff like that now after 20 hours might be tough but the overall piece would benefit big time I think.
If you could give the depth more dynamic. I took the liberty of a fast paint over to illsutrate. Having him reaching out of the pool makes it more than, background middleground foreground.
Also I think you will need some subject matter in the foreground. Right now there s no clue why the thing comes out of a pool and where its gonna be. The shilloutte of a frightend priestes? Also
mayb a secondary light source from the front? maybe a warm one like from oil lamps?
I hope that all helps
Keep it up
A tutor once said to me: "Let your mind go!" and it didnīt come back.
Wolf@WorK aka Sketchbook
my Heavy Industrie, Military and Steampunk References/Textures (updated Oct 2012)
Hey bbwolf, thanks for the advice and the paintover. A lot of what you mentioned I had been considering, in fact I painted one version with the hand reaching out just like that.
Not sure if I like the body being tilted like that, but I hear your point about there being so much vertical things happening and that framing him too perfectly. The point is noted and I'll see if I can fix the composition.
I'm glad you brought up the point about his tentacle maybe not fitting behind those back pillars, I hadn't noticed that until now.
The details like making him wet and drippy are in the plan. I hadn't really thought about putting anything in the foreground, but I'll definitely consider it.
Interesting that you two brought up the areas that I feel like I need to work on most, lighting and composition. I'll see what I can fix here and try harder next time.
The other thing to consider is what is holding him up. As he is now it looks like he would need to be propped up by his tentacles directly under him, however that isn't where they are. They are spread out more around him. In this position it is more like he is climbing out of the water and hence his upper body should be resting lower.
I love the rendering you have done. I do agree with the inconsistencies with the lighting. Also i believe that the figure will look a little bit more dynamic emerging out of the water... the pose you have is like perfect for the whole emerging out of water, screaming action. You could have the tentacles coming out and all...but from the water....just my two cents...
Thanks for the feedback from everyone, here's some progress. Fixed the lighting, made him look wetter, more sprays, more rendering, yadda, yadda...
I decided to try and get a little crazy with the cropping in hopes that it improved the composition. Tried to make it a little more dynamic. Then I just did a quick paintover to see if more splashing water would help.
Let me know what you think.
niice...there is a lot more action going on in the scene... however it is also starting to look as if the creature got shocked...if you can why don't you try tilting his head up a bit and to the left (the creature's left)....like a 3/4 th pose overall...i know its a lot of work but you could get out a quick thumbnail to set the action.... or you could hunch his back a bit to show him emerging out of the water screaming...But if i may, what was your initial idea when you started this painting? What did you want to show? But i must stress on the fact that i love the painting you have done. cant wait to see it finished..
You definitely improved it with the cropping.
Really nice rendering and drawing too! I especially like the spear weapon, its super well drawn. The tentacles and such are also really well done, and you've worked hard on the torso.
My suggestion might not be what you want to hear, but here it goes anyway incase it's useful. I think the pose is a little stiff, and its especially apparent in the first image. His torso is viewed from straight-on, and his torso is perfectly straight and composed. It's not a dynamic action pose at all. So my suggestion would be to push the pose. What is the action? It looks to me as if you wanted the character to be emerging violently from the water, ready to attack the viewer, or at least be as imposing as possible. So you could really pull back and arch his chest, pushing the chest out, head back, like bear roaring. Or have him a little more hunched forward and menacing, just something more dynamic.
I went ahead and did an example pose, and got carried away and ended up critting everything that I honestly thought you could do to push the image to its logical destiny. I hope you find the suggestions valuable, I gave quite a couple. I realise you can't add all the suggestions at once, they just depend on which direction you want to go.
I hope this could of been helpful
Last edited by aks9; December 10th, 2012 at 06:41 PM.