Helloooo I'm working on this piece below, and I desperately need help with foreshortening. This is obviously just a rough sketch, and it's nowhere near completion, but since I plan to paint over it in watercolor, I need to get this corrected now while it's still fixable. The idea is the "Girl with a Pearl Earring" is leaping out of her painting to meet the curator for a romantic rendezvous
I really need this to be perfect for my college portfolio, so I welcome brutal critiques that will probably make me cry. Thanks!
Last edited by l'Aria; October 7th, 2012 at 04:24 PM.
I have to admit that before I read the description I though this was some sort of ghost hag jumping through a window or mirror to come kill the guy, I really did.
The smile doesn't look very friendly and maybe bit elongated (one of those things that's natural in real life but much harder to make look natural in a drawing), and the proportions seem out of whack too, as her body is way too small compared to her head, and the arms are too short, especially considering how close her head is to the guy and the guy isn't even looking at the woman, which is kinda creepy and again goes with the "ghost" feeling, same as her hands that don't seem to be doing a gentle caress or something romantic and more pressing flat straight to his throat...
Also the perspective of the painting doesn't seem to have much to do with the perspective of the guy.
Like dpaint said, get some models for this, and i really suggest you think about the gesture in this.
Also the faces of the characters create this awkward tangent between them.
as the artist you are the creator of the image..
make an image that has no vague lines
use sleeves an pockets to delinate form
show all faces as complete try not to do back views
cutting both figures at the waist weakens to composition
show shoulders and arms with bulk so the figure fill space
the flying girl is problematical it has to be clear whether she is leaning or weightless
give the building and props secure foundations so that figures are solid
use straight lines as a foil for the figures..
sketch is a visual for the little crit
Thank you all so, so much for your critiques! It was just what I needed.
dpaint: Thanks! I tried boxing out the figure and it helped tremendously.
TinyBird: He is actually looking through her at the painting. She's not physically there. Sorry, I should have explained that in my initial post! But I certainly don't want her expression to come off as creepy so I will need to revisit that once I've handled the proportion issues. Hopefully now body to head ratio is a bit more agreeable? I also fixed the perspective of his body and her hand. Thanks so much for your feedback! I greatly appreciate it
kliest: Thanks for the paintover! I like your solution to the arm being too short so I'm in the process of implementing that into my own drawing. I bulked up her shoulder and I tried to fix the fabric to make her seem more weightless. I unfortunately have to crop it here because it's for a college app and it must fit to certain dimensions. But I can certainly move the painting she is emerging from back so as to define more of her legs/skirt coming out of the painting. Thanks again for all of the advice!
Hopefully this is better?
It might be an idea to have a blank profile of her left in the picture and not bother as much with her lower half.
I'd strongly recommend you think about the framing in this image...cropping off the top of their heads looks really awkward, especially since there's nothing going on below shoulder level (JPEG below.)
Also, for the girl, I join in to the chorus of voices offering you the age-old advice: find some photo reference.
Black Spot: I'm going to do a gesture of the original painting of "Girl with a Pearl Earring" in the frame she is emerging from, but I haven't drawn it yet since I knew I'd probably have to erase it with all the corrections I've been making. Is that what you mean?
Giacomo: Thank you! It was quite tedious, but I started over and transferred the drawing to another sheet. I didn't move it quite as low as you did because I had intended for there to be more in the bottom of the image. I just hadn't gotten around to drawing it yet as I was still dealing with proportion issues.
Transferred to a new sheet, moved the entire image down, tweaked proportions again, cleaner sketch. Still need to work on the background details of course, but hopefully this is an improvement.
Her expression is still rather unpleasant. Stop copying the same face from sketch to sketch and do some loose expression studies, even caricatures, to nail the expression. You can tighten the face structure later; what you need here is for the smile to be readable, rather than look like a grimace of pain.