so this is what i am working on now. I need to do a two page spread that fits into a childrens story book, in this case "the Rag Coat" by Lauren Mills
This is the scene after the main character has been teased by her class mates cause her coat looks like crap from being made by scraps lying around her mother's workshop. She is a poor girl so that explains why her coat is in poor shape.
It's one of the first days at school so that awkwardness and not fitting in yet are feelings she must be feeling.
Anyways she explains that her coat isn't just made of rags but of memories and stories of hers and her class mates cause it turns out those rags are scraps from pieces of clothing and blankets which were made by her mother's workshop.
So basically she is wearing parts of her classmates lives.
How do you think i can improve this and does it get the message across?
Though when I first saw it, I thought "desperate homeless person" and then was later surprised to find that she was actually in school.
If you could put a schoolyard behind her, that would probably help. Or maybe she could be sitting like that at the top of a playland?
I think having her hair braided instead of wild does help to circumvent the "homeless" look, but it's still not enough.
Also, I don't know if the text box is just a comp or what the text will actually look like, but if I were you, I'd try to avoid putting any major rags behind the text, unless they were very low contrast, so as not to distract.
By the way, what medium is this going to be in? I personally think this would be an excellent opportunity for collage. If you could use the same actual fabric for the scraps, I could see it working out VERY well.
(Oh, one final nitpicky thing: It looks like there's a hand draping down on her left shoulder. I'm guessing it's supposed to be a scrap of fabric, but "disembodied hand" came to mind, first.)