After not participating at the CA community for so long I'm desperately looking for some of your qualitativ feedback!
I started a project about the japanese Shinto religion based around the sun goddess Amaterasu. The task is to create a fictious Movie/Video Game Concept. This includes characters, environments and almost everything you can think of.
My main problem is the style... I'm no pro and it is very hard to find a consistent look so if you like something please tell me.
This thread is now for the pictures I intend to keep and I already removed a lot of sketches.
Please feel free to check out my sketchbook about the my Amaterasu project!
>> Amaterasu Sketchbook <<
Maybe I can share my rewritten story later if you are interested and I'm able to write it in proper english.
I will post everything I do for the project here so please give me everything that can be helpful
Thank you !
Last edited by Onisan; December 16th, 2009 at 09:48 PM.
These are all really good concepts! I'm not really sure exactly how to critique these because I really can't find anything wrong with them. Maybe someone more experienced can find something you can improve in, but otherwise, really good work! I hope to see more from you.
DarkSenshi on DeviantArt:
Check her eyes...
Love the new scribble, if you do a full render of it i'd encourage you to do the figure in BW (maybe a few key points of color) and the nouveau style backdrop in color. Part of what I love is the color composition.
Might wana be careful on her shoulders though, with the way the fabric is on them they are approaching squarish manly-ness, not there yet, but getting close. particularly the one on the left, which might look a little out of joint as is.
Here is an animated matte painting I did last night! Finally something I can cross off my list for the short Amaterasu Intro I intend to accomplish until december.... need sleep !
Some earlier steps are in my sketchbook.
Somehow the attachement for the movie is not working. Here is a link to vimeo!
some time ago in the character of the week section there was an amaterasu topic..that might give you some inspiration.
imo the sketch on post #5 suits the topic a lot more because i can see a relation with the sun and has a godly feel to it..
the asian looking archer its generic and there is no indication of who she is or supposed to be..
hope this helps
The archer is actually intended to be generic and is not meant to be Amaterasu or any other named character in the story. Just a random Miko.
Liking it despite the anatomical quirks.
Amateur Artist. Professional Asshole.
Lookit the Pretty!
Rule #1 of depicting soldiers: KEEP THE DAMN FINGER OFF THE DAMN TRIGGER.
Here is the start of my next character. Somehow I feel she is still too boring somehow... any suggestions what I could add to make her a little more recognizable? The bondage idea on her custome seems a little too innocent yet.
For the new design I think there is something to be said for subtlety. It shouldn't have to be in your face to get the point across and i think it works as it is.
For a japanese theme if you're going for bondage, then the shibari you have really is the way to go and I like actually that you didn't throw more on it. For me actually the only thing that is throwing me off is the large hoop earrings and the beauty mark on the face is making the ethnicity of the woman to lean more latina than japanese
dude I love how you play up the accessories on your characters. looks cool and adds alot to their design.
Your latest one is looking pretty good. One thing though is that her arms are kind of in an awkard position. She's putting both of her hands behind her head... I dunno... it's just no clicking with me personally.
all the villians look really well done and thought out. The one with the ball of string looks really slick man, great job! I also like your character covering her face, really polished.
anyway, good luck man. This is turning out to be really cool!
The villian with the ball of string... why not fill in the BG with a gradient or a different color? The stark white diffuses the awesomness of the painitng.
Last edited by SlowDaddie; November 29th, 2009 at 05:02 AM.
Nice stuff - the latest one is a bit awkward on stance. Her legs/weight are off - she's kind of in a relaxed contra-posto but both knees seem slightly bent. Weight is usually carried more by one leg generally centered beneath the figure - try dropping a line down from her nose and shifting her right leg/foot over? Try taking the pose yourself to feel the weight/balance - check in a mirror if you have one. Great stuff though - nice attention to details while keeping things simple.
@ SlowDaddiedude thanks for the compliments They still have white backgrounds because I intend to put them all together in one finished piece for a little animation later on and it was faster to colorize with white background.
@JeffX99 thanks for the observation, I tried to change some things and rearranged the legs a little bit. Hopefully I get it right soon ^^
Definitely better but I think could be pushed more - try to think of "active" side and "slack" side - or dynamic/relaxed - one side of a figure or even an arm/leg will be active and under tension while the other is relaxed. I think you got that a bit but see if her balance/center doesn't improve if you bring her right foot under her chin/nose (angling the leg of course so it looks like she's really "set" on her right leg). Now keep in mind this is for this type of "relaxed" stance/pose. A dynamic battle pose will of course have a different sense of character. Good job though if I didn't already mention that...to be honest these are fine for concepts but I sense you want to take your abilities as far as you can - which is the right path of course.
Ok i did some more adjustments and started refining and rendering some of the parts. I have to rework the string around her waist and think about how much detail I actually need at the bondage strings.
Do you think I should add shoes ? Like geta or ancient japanese high heels ? ;>
Looking forward to any suggestions!
oh I just saw that her right arm is getting a little too thin, working on it
Coming along nicely - two things I notice right off:
Her right eye is way small and out of position - you have an entire eye-width between her inner eye and nose bridge - general measurement is the eyes are about as far apart as one entire eye. You've kind of "tucked" it in there in the available space instead of making sure it is positioned correctly. Try quick sketch without her hair - draw her entire face - then bring the hair back where you want.
Her forearms are undeveloped or not thought out - her right forearm far too long with no indication of wrist - her left is a little wide and straight where it meets the elbow (check where the underside line goes behind) - left also seems so straight as to be a tangent or confused with fan folds.
I guess the last thing - since you seem to be pushing this one pretty far - watch your light sources - you have that strong secondary blue/green light from lower right - but only in some areas - any plane/form facing it will pick it up - same with main light from upper left - in some areas it is indicated as pretty strong - in others more diffuse - top of breasts is one are where it seems inconsistent - and since they are so prominently featured...well...
OK - that was three things...might try using the trick of putting tracing paper over your monitor to do a quick sketch of eye placement, wrist indication, etc.
Thanks jeff some very priceless observations
Here is some progress and I tried to adjust some of the things you mentioned. Furthermore I got rid of the color ;> I think I should do them when she is finally finished. Maybe I should put a stop somewhere it doesnt need to be sooo refined ... have to start something new soon
Hey Onisan - really nice job man! She finished out great (background is a little distracting but that's just me). Exactly what those arms needed - and that eye is so important with this particular character/pose - looks a lot better, eh? Anyway - good job - I look forward to seeing the rest!