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This is my work in progress for the Dominance War challenge. I'd be curious to hear some constructive comments about what you like and might approach differently.
Thanks for taking the time to look at my work and best of luck to anyone participating in this contest.
Last edited by snasitra; August 1st, 2009 at 05:39 PM.
Looks good. The rendering and textures are outstanding.
You probably don't want to hear this after doing all that work, but the extreme slenderness of her arms and torso makes it almost impossible to figure out what's going on in the main picture. I would've had no idea what was supposed to be happening if you hadn't also posted the character designs. With that in mind, you might want to thicken her arms a bit so the gesture at least reads.
Yeah, maybe dropping the detail level on the BG figures would help as they're pulling the eye too much.
yea i would try to direct the attention to the main fig, at the moment its sort of downplaying the action, on a side note great rendering skills and its refreshing seeing such a stylized figure in the dw
Looks more like showing off to me. Awesome style.
The objects and spaces are all too "together" looking, Atreides's crit is on, doing that will stretch out some distance and focal seperation.
What I could perhaps add, your tone is excellent on a local level and your characters etc are really well toned but the scene could use "big tone" design to push pull and separate the elements better. There's not enough contrast, your darks seem to light in alot of areas.
The design is very interesting, though, as said, a tad hard to read. In the top picture her arms look a tad short as well.
The background figures are indeed stealing attention, and the green guy in the back's sort of got a neutral pose that doesn't help the movement. You could add some environmental perspective, or have the purple light illuminate the entire environment and take over the details on the background figures. These are all a bit steep to change, though. Overall the design is appealing and you've visibly put a lot of effort into it.
With some serious hardcore anatomy study (Bridgman and lots of life drawing) you can be a world beater!
At least Icarus tried!
My Process: Dead Rider Graphic Novel (Dark Horse Comics) plus oil paintings, pencils and other goodies:
My "Smilechild" Music. Plus a medley of Commercial Music Cues and a Folksy Jingle!:
Nah, I still can't properly put my finger on it...
Perhaps it's just spacing, pushing back and pushing forward that needs to happen.
Last edited by George Abraham; May 11th, 2009 at 10:13 AM.
Yes, anatomy study and just observing nature will help you to improve, but these pieces are really nice! Great sense of value in most of these, and I'm loving the atmosphere (reminds me of a midsummer night's dream but with war). Good luck in the contest : ]
omg your monochromatic pieces for this are awesome!!
I think you color image on top is suffering from way to much going on. The composition isn't really leading the eye anywhere and the background is competing way to much with the foreground.
for a quick fix, try dulling down some of the detail and saturation in the background.
CA Finished Work
CA Sketch Book
"I have transcended that phase in my intellectual growth where I discover humour in simple freakishness. What exists is real; therefore it is tragic, since whatever lives must die. Only fantasy, the vapors rising from sheer nonsense, can now excite my laughter." - Lord Pirmence of Castle Lutez
Great work! I really like it!
I agree with everyone comments, but you know it would be always something ... anatomy is very important even if in "fantasy".
Sorry for my english ! Arg ... I really need to work my english
Love the rendering
The composition isn't as strong.
I hope this makes sense. I think the layout of the creatures and the glowing energy ball divide your canvas into about six areas competing for focus. Something like this (please see attached thumbnail which I painted over to try to illustrate my thoughts.)
Last edited by PsiBug; May 11th, 2009 at 03:44 PM.
Played with it a little. Tried all kinds of stuff that didn't work then I fiddled with the fung's sway, the sword blast directing at the critter in front closes up the flow, twisting it up and in leaves the channel towards the background open to breathe. I didn't need to delete the original.
Of course there's more that can be done to it but this is kinda what bugged my eyes the most.
Last edited by George Abraham; May 11th, 2009 at 04:03 PM.
HOO-kay,here's what I see that needs a'fixin:
-The elf's left hand looks like it has 4 fingers instead of 5.
-The creature behind the elf confuses me. Is it all one creature? Is the purple slime monster being crushed? Does the dragon head come from something further behind the elf? Some differences in color may help.
-The brute in the far back is doing too little. Make him try to fight off the soldiers at his feet. Or, maybe to lessen the changes, have a little fun and make him swat/kick one of the soldiers away in annoyance. THEY ARE LIKE GNATS UNTO HIM!
-I'm not fond of the leaves halo right at the elf's feet; it seems too centralized. I'd try spreading out the leaves a bit more.
-I'd like the frontmost energy dagger a bit closer to the hapless victim, like it's just milliseconds from stabbing its face.
-I don't like how the energy stream breaks when passing over the elf's dress. Continue it, but you can make it a little more sparse around that area if you want to give the viewers a good idea what the dress looks like.
-I'd fill in that empty space to the right with something. I understand you want the elf and her energy stream the main focus, but maybe putting at least the silhouette of a creature back there wouldn't make it so blatantly...blank.
-I notice that in the layout sheet with her front and side and back views that the gauntlet seems to change shape for the back view.
I had actually given up this thread for dead and not checked it for like a week or more and then I see that a bunch of you are actually taking the time to comment and do some paint overs. Very, very cool and thank you so much...
I'm Mr. Lame-o because I can't act on any of this stuff in time for the contest deadline... As we speak, I'm taking a break from my vacation and am far, far away from a wacom and the deadline is Monday I think with me still gone. I can't be too sad though because even if I don't rule the art world, I'm on vacation and that's always a good thing.
Thanks again and I really appreciate the comments. Anatomy is always something to get better at and I consider composition one of my weakest points to work on this coming year. I'll look over all of this when I get home, but in the meantime, here's a minor tweak I did before seeing the comments...
I'm going to be working on redesigning the Wizard of Oz as a steampunk future thing and will learn my lessons and comments from this and channel it into that. The Dominance pieces are generally full of so much goofiness that many of them have that over the top, "what the hell is going on in this" look and I'm obviously falling prey to that. Thanks again for the comments and I'll look over all of this when I get home and back to my art. I really appreciate the kind tone to everything and the time taken to do some paint ups. I'll try and return the favor to those who commented when, like I say... back home from vacation!
Last edited by snasitra; August 1st, 2009 at 05:39 PM.