Sketchbook: Why it's hard being a perfectionist.
I'm a 23-year-old who recently (roughly a month or so) decided to drag out the box titled Lifelong Dreams from under her bed.
Like many others, I've always had a huge passion for all things art - literature, music, drawing, etc - but never really had the guts to indulge myself in the latter. I think this has less to do with a lack of time or interest, but much more to do with being a perfectionist. I hate failure to the point where I'd rather not do something than not do it well. As I've grown up, I've realized this in itself is a failure. All this time I could have been doing art and improving myself, allowing myself to evolve. See? My head is like a one-way ticket to unhappiness.
Nevertheless, I have kept tabs on the forum and explored this amazing, creative community before I decided to join today. A big step or me. (I am terrified.)
As mentioned, I've been really into drawing for a long time, but I've never really sat down to, well, draw. In my very early teens I would do a lot of manga/anime doodling (I know, I know) and stuff, which I think shows now when I'm trying to learn "actual" anatomy and facial structure, haha. I feel it's stylized no matter how I try to make it not that way... but I won't give up!
As I've started on my journey this past month, I've noticed that a lot of my drawings feel very hit-or-miss. Some days I'll draw something and be like "that's kinda okay" and other days I want to tear my hair out because nothing looks right. I hope to become more consistent as time goes on. I will also try to post as much as I can, even if I hate the results. I feel like that's just another hurdle I need to get past as a perfectionist; it's okay to produce flawed work, because we'll learn from it. Hopefully you guys will be able to critique me better that way, too. You're all wonderful.
Oh lord, I've rambled way too much... If you read all of that, I'm sorry! And thank you.
My scanner is tucked away somewhere and it's late right now, so I can't really post any studies I've done in sketchbooks, but! Here's a few digital poops I've done in the past month. The first two are just pose studies off posemaniacs. Then there's some shoes. As for the rest, I'm certain you can see me struggle with defaulting to the manga style, haha.