monologish - I would suggest having the evil lady's head be positioned above the grieving woman and looking down at her, at least to some extent. This could help give the evil lady a sense of dominance or power, and break any confusion as to their relationship. Just a thought.
IntoTheVoid - Have you tried a lower camera angle? Forcing the view to look up at the villain could help give him/her a sense of power. If the villain and the screen behind him/her are the focal point, have you considered making them dominate the composition in size?
warburton - Looking good. I don't mind all the armor detail stuffs.
Good point. I tweaked the monitor to take up a much larger percentage of the composition. I did want to do a low angle originally but decided against it, since I don't think I can get the villain's expression to be visible like that.
Originally Posted by derekdedgell
warburton - I like it. The difference in detail adds to the dynamic between them and makes it feel even more overpowering.
Okay so I adjusted the composition and did a quick color test. I'm not used to putting so many separate elements into a single piece, but I hope they all work with the narrative.
Pretty sure I'm going to switch places around with the champagne and the chess board.
A few crits. Disclaimer:feel free to ignore as I have no idea what I'm talking about.
niffick - love the energy you've got in this piece. IntoTheVoid mentioned how the characters appear to be unrelated which I think is a perspective problem. For example; the perpective of the severed arm makes the main character look like a giant compared to the sniper. Maybe try messing around with horizon lines and vanishing points.
derekdedgell - really like what you've got so far.
monologish - I like what you are trying to do with this piece though I think it would be a difficult image even for a really experienced artist. There's nothing wrong with being ambitious in your attempts though; that's how we all improve. Look forward to seeing the finished result.
warburton - I think the armour works fine, the detail draws more of the focus to him if that's what you want. Hope you can keep the atmosphere of the original thumbnail. It reminds me of the final battle scenes from Kurosawa's Seven Samurai - all rain and mud. Though I don't remember anyone taking an arrow to the nuts;)
IntoTheVoid - Like what you've got so far. Lots going on here, hope you have time to finish. Only things I'm not sure about are the two machine guns on either side; have you thought about showing the silhouettes of the guards on either side to frame the whole piece?
This time instead of trying to grapple with my Bamboo, I decided to do it the traditional way..and well the only way I am comfortable with for now...I have tried to incorporate all the suggestions..and even though you might think that there is a lot of empty space..but I am going to put in a lot more detail with the hair and the tentacles...
But first, [please remember I am still a novice so all suggestions are merely observations, they could be horribly off the mark]
IDP - Thanks :)..you are right..I am really having trouble getting the right feel onthis one...though like you said..it's definitely teaching me a whole lot of new things..
IntoTheVoid - I really like where your piece is headed..though I must second IDP's suggestion about the guard silhouettes on either side, as the left -bottom side in particular looks a little empty...
Now, do lemme know what you guys think..sorry about it being so messy....
monologish - I like this composition much better, it definitely makes the story a lot easier to figure out. I just have one suggestion, that you try to make the tentacles sort of more... I dunno I guess threatening is the word I'm looking for? Or sinister maybe. I'd try to make them more as if they're grasping, pulling. Right now they look more gentle, like they're caressing. Think tighter coils, more dramatic curves. In general, the more dramatic shapes in a character, the creepier they look.
As for mine... Mm, I think y'all are right about the perspective being the problem. I'm used to just sort of winging it with perspective and getting it right anyway just through trial and error and by having an eye for it but in the long run that is just a really terrible habit. I'll get to work on that in a bit. For now I've changed the pose of the "main" person a bit - I was starting to feel unsure about how he was before, just kneeling out in the open. You don't just sit there with your back to the enemy with nothing to cover you in a game of paintball. You just don't. So this is what he looks like for now; I can't decide whether I love it or hate it and the anatomy and whatnot definitely needs some work, since this is just a rough sketch compared to the rest of the piece at this point, but I do think it makes more sense than what I had before at least.
niffick - I've gotta second the perspective issue. I do like the inclusion of cover.
monologish - The story is reading a lot better in your new composition, good job!
IntoTheVoid - The focal point is reading better. I agree with IDP with regards to the guards.
Small update. Just some adjustments as well as some initial indications of an environment.
Thanks for the feedback everyone! :D
monologish - great improvements there! Your composition is focused very nicely on the three faces, so make sure you really push each expression to get the message across.
niffick - I agree, the cover is a good addition. Maybe make it just a tiny bit taller so it supports his lower back - otherwise it makes his body look rigid and unbending.
Okay, so I was definitely lazy with the guards before, but I was also worried the side characters would steal the focus away from the main characters. I think silhouetting was a good idea :)
derekdedgell: I like the concept and the brushwork, especially when it was still rough in the previous version. Do you use Painter or Photoshop? Also, totally unrelated, I think we might live near each other. Do you live in Orange County?
I need things to keep me busy, so I guess I'll join some of these challenges. I'm not going for anything highly detailed or anything, just looking to convey the message as simply as possible so as I don't distract from the message.
Started with a 3D block out just because I got a little lazy and now I'm getting the composition worked out and painting over it to make it look less 3D.
IDP: My favourite so far. Great emotion and complete grasp of the topic
Was doodling this today and saw this new topic, thought it was kinda applicable?
Here's my initial sketch. I'll make the armor more unique, I'm just trying to get the composition and mood right now. The idea is that she defeated her opponent, but is walking away with a fatal wound.
So scrapping 90% of what I had and basically starting over so close to the deadline is probably not... the best idea, but I was really not liking the composition of what I had before. It looked like I had drawn a guy getting shot from behind, then just sort of slapped on a background that didn't have much to do with it. I guess that's kind of what I did, so. Anyway new sketch ahoy. Hopefully I can get it done by the deadline, but even if I can't I'd rather have a piece I'm happy with than one that no longer makes sense to me. Also, actual planning and perspective lines, yay!
More random thoughts:
Monologish - As niffick said, this new version is definitely easier to read in terms of story.
niffick - I also like the inclusion of cover. It links the central character to the girl on the left nicely, giving the impression that they are defending something.
Shmaba - I really like this; simple but effective.
GEB - Great image. In terms of the 'Game Over' brief though, have you thought about putting the figure into more of an "oh crap I'm gonna die" pose. Right now I think it's open to interpretation; he could be a warlock who's just summoned a demon for example, or a really powerfull wizard about to kick it's arse, like Gandalf facing off against the Balrog on the last bridge.
Liffey - Nice pose, really feels like she's exhausted after the fight. I'd really like to see her face though -to really bring home the fact it's a mortal wound - hair stuck to her sweaty face, blood trickling from her nose, pallid skin, sunken eyes etc.
Small update: less vogue model - more defeated soldier :P
Update with color. Feeling kinda meh =/.
PuppyKitten - I use mostly painter. And yes i reside in the OC atm.
Some thoughts up to now (take with a grain of salt, since my critiquing is about on par with my drawing) :P
Shmaba - Nice and simple concept. Looking good, I have no issues with the composition. Perhaps making the board's surface reflective and give a hint of the "killer" can make it more dynamic.
GEB - Execution is good. As IDP said, I'm not necessarily getting a "game over" vibe out of it yet. The demon looks like it's performing a vaudeville act for the guy and seeking his approval :P
Liffey - Really digging the feel of this piece, but since there aren't any other "players" in the scene, I assume you're interpreting "game over" to simply mean "the end". Which is fine by me, really, but maybe loosen the grip on the sword to make it look like she's really ebbing out - that she's very close to an inevitable death.
niffick - Yeah, I like the new composition. Something I think you should keep from the previous version is the way their head was turned upward - it gave the entire pose a fatalistic kind of feel that I think works very well for your concept.
I would also suggest trying to keep you lines cleaner and more confident in the early stages, as that would make things a lot easier for you to work with.
derekdedgell Really nice colors and textures, and like I said I dig the idea. Not sure what's going on with the facial expression though - it's too ambiguous at the moment, so I can't quite tell what I should be feeling from this piece. Is he dead? Terrified? Serene? Mesmerized? Horny?
Everyone - Awesome works all over :)
My completed version
Thanks a tonne for all the suggestions guys, and I am thrilled that you think the new composition works much better. So I went ahead and completed the thing. Now, my entire effort has been focused on the details within her hair and the story that tells..I love hiding stories within my pieces..anyways..so the background and the colors are kind of an afterthought..like in most of my work.. :nohope:..I suck at backgrounds...so any suggestions on whether this works or not would be highly appreciated....
I made the entire think with pen and acrylics, but the background and the background color were added with photoshop..
Be gentle people..:dur:
I had too much work today, won't be able to finish mine :(
Well I still plan to finish, just won't be done for this.